Tuesdays are the days where I am intentional about loving on me! There was once a time where I didn't love myself, nor did I know how to. I compensated the lack of love I had for myself with the attention I would receive from men and unprofitable relationships. I didn't know who I was apart from a relationship, because I would leave one and enter another. I allowed my relationship status to define me. My relationship status equated my worth! I had no idea how to be alone! I enjoyed companionship, and all the bells and whistles that came with being involved with someone. But that was still never enough! I was still empty inside! And I still lacked the love I was searching for!
I was searching for love, before I even had a concept of what and who love was. God is love! (1 John 4:8) Literally it's that simple! Of course I didn't know this until I encountered this love for myself. Back then, (in my day lol) I was looking for love, but I wasn't looking for God. I wanted to satisfy my flesh, and experience a love only God can give; at the same time...but it doesn't work like that! Matthew 6:24a tells us, " No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold on to the one and despise the other." Cee Translation: I can't serve my flesh and serve God! I can't have my cake and eat it too! I chose to serve God! I chose to receive the authentic, pure, unadulterated, can't get any better than this! Love from God! I went straight to the source!
Although, choosing God was the best thing I have ever done; God required me to let go of some relationships that were counterfeit. He wanted me to trust Him. Psalm 34: 8 tells me, to "O taste and see that the Lord is good: blessed is the man who trusteth in Him." God wanted me to trust that He would be enough! If I never dated another man, would He be enough!? Could I be content enjoying just Him! When I first began my journey with God, I had no idea how this would pan out! LOL I mean, I'm used to going out, eating good, having fun! So the struggle was reallll! ( I'm being honest!) But the emotional rollercoaster I stayed on, the heartbreak, and the "Waiting to Exhale" moments I endured due to my unprofitable relationships was realllll also! So I let it all go and placed my trust in God!
God showed me how to love myself through the unconditional love I received through Him! I began to date myself. I make it a point to choose one day to be extra special towards myself! Whether I'm taking myself to dinner, going to catch a movie, spending a day in Barnes and Noble, Reading on the Beach, or even hitting up an open mic! I am unashamed, and unapologetically loving on me! And When the Lord does send my husband, I won't be mistaken as to where my love comes from! God is my source always!
Tuesday's may not be your day, But dedicate a day to be intentional about loving you!
So, I currently have coined, Tuesdays as my Tuesday Me day! and today, I spent my day, writing, working out, and releasing a new poem at a open mic! Called Heaven Sent! Check out Poems Page for more!